Not Over You
by NaleyWriter23
Summary: "If you ask me how I'm doing, I'd lie and say you're not on my mind..." Based on the Gavin DeGraw song. Nathan's POV


**I'm back with another quick one-shot… I heard Gavin DeGraw's "Not over You" the other day and it gave me inspiration to write this. So, I hope you enjoy! xox **

* * *

It has been six months.

Six, long, painful months.

I should be fine by now, but I'm not.

I'm a complete mess.

I have never truly known what it felt like to have a broken heart, but I do now.

It sucks.

I should be having the time of my life. Six months ago I graduated from Duke University- my dream college- and two months I was drafted in the NBA for the Charlotte Bobcats.

Sounds great, right?

Don't get me wrong, it's great, and I'm happy, but I'm just…

I'm not as happy as I should be.

I can't stop thinking about her.

I want her.

I need her.

I crave her.

I miss her.

But… I'm over her.

At least that's what I tell everyone who asks me.

I tell myself I'm over her, but I know I'm not.

My thoughts prove otherwise.

She is constantly on my mind.

I haven't seen her in six months.

I see her every night though… in my dreams.

I dream of her creamy skin, her perfect, cherry flavored lips, her giant brown eyes, and her infectious smile.

My body aches for hers.

The last time I saw her was the day after we graduated from Duke. I'll never forget it, even if I wanted to.

I was completely blind sided, and had absolutely no idea that would be the day my heart would be ripped from out of my chest.

We had started dating since junior year of college. The typical, bad boy meet innocent small town girl, love story. Long story short, I was a pretentious asshole who thought the world revolved around me, she was the smart, beautiful, tutor who had no interest with putting up with my bull shit.

I think that was what drew me to her.

I was so used to girls throwing themselves at me, so it was refreshing when she put up a fight.

And what a hell of a fight it was…

After begging for her to tutor me in math- which if I failed, I would be kicked off the basketball team- she finally relented, and she helped me out a lot.

I didn't plan on falling for her, but I did.

And damn, I fell hard, and I fell fast.

Before asking for her help, I had no idea who she was. She knew me though…

Everyone knew me.

I was the big man on campus.

Apparently, she hated my arrogant attitude and really was not interested in me.

She made it known.

Every time I'd try to flirt with her she'd roll her eyes, or sigh. Never once did she flirt back.

For a while, I thought maybe she was a lesbian or something, because every girl I have ever flirted with, always flirts back.

It was all so new to me.

I hated being rejected.

I was determined to get her to like me… and in the process, I ended up liking her so much more than I ever thought possible.

So finally, after about two and a half months of tutoring, she saw past my cocky exterior, and I guess she warmed up to me. My irresistible charm got through to her- even if she denies it.

We started off as friends, and after she finished tutoring me, we'd hang out and order dinner and watch movies. Somewhere along the lines, my feelings for her intensified.

I was always drawn to her, but the desperation for her grew as each day passed. No longer did I feel interested in the fake blonde, busty females that threw themselves at me…

The only girl that occupied my mind was Haley James.

She still occupies my mind, every single day.

So finally after one of our tutoring sessions, I worked up the nerve to ask her out on a real date. I told her how much I liked her, and man, I was never more nervous in my life. I didn't think admitting you liked someone was hard- but it was. I've never felt that strong about anyone, and so I've never really told anyone I liked them before Haley.

At first, she thought I was joking, so she laughed.

My face remained still as stone. I was not laughing. In fact, I was so nervous I felt like peeing my pants. That would have been embarrassing.

She said she didn't understand why I would be interested in her.

She never understood how beautiful she really was.

She thought it was a game, but I proved to her how much I really was interested in her. She admitted she liked me too, and the rest was history.

So for the rest of college, we dated. Haley James was all mine.

We were an unexpected couple, but we were perfect together. I loved her so much. I'm not perfect, but I tried to be perfect for her. The whole 'bad boy' facade I had, quickly faded, and I learned that I was a complete mush on the inside. Haley James made me turn to goo. I didn't mind at all.

Although she was reluctant in the beginning, her walls soon broke, and we were completely free with each other. She trusted me, and I trusted her. We became inseparable. We were both extremely busy, between school, work, and basketball, I'm surprised we ever had time for each other, but we did. We made it work. Every second we had free, we'd spend it together. I didn't want to go anywhere without her. As corny as it sounds, she was my other half.

We were completely blissed out on puppy love.

She loved me, I loved her.

For the first time in my life, I was head over heels in love, and I never wanted it to end. I never planned on it ending.

Growing up, the only future I ever thought about was me in the NBA. But after I met Haley, that all changed. I saw her there too… I wanted her to be my wife, and start a family together.

She made me so happy. I hated being away from her. I felt my heart burn in need.

She told me that whenever I was around, her heart beat out of control, and when I wasn't around, she wanted me to be. I felt the same way. I just wanted to spend every second with her by my side. She loved me so much that she got my jersey number tattooed above her ass. God, it was so hot, I almost swallowed my tongue when I saw it.

Everyone who was around us could see how in love we were. That's why, I'm pretty sure everyone was just as shocked as I was when we broke up…

My heart is in pain as I remember the worst day of my life.

It was the day after Graduation. And that day after that, I'd be leaving to go back to my hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina. Haley would leave to go to her hometown, Tree Hill, North Carolina. She would start applying for jobs at schools, and I had to meet with some agents before the NBA draft. We'd only be separated for a few weeks, but still, I was pretty bummed about it. We had no idea what we would do about living conditions. The drive from Charlotte to Tree Hill was about two hours, but I knew I had to see her as much as possible. Every time I brought up moving to Tree Hill, she'd change the topic. I really never thought about it, and I figured she was just stressed about the future. Anyway, so that day I went to her dorm to help her back, but when she answered the door she had tears in her eyes.

I didn't even question it. I just pulled her into my arms, and kissed her forehead, figuring she was probably just upset about saying goodbye. I promised her everything would be okay, and smiled down at her.

She didn't smile back.

I looked into her teary eyes and I swore I could see the light that usually illuminated them, completely diminish.

I asked her what was wrong.

She looked torn up about something.

I knew her better than I knew myself.

She took a deep breath and pulled me over to her bed where we sat down, and I tried my best to comfort her. I could tell something was seriously bothering her.

So, once again, I asked her what was wrong, and she couldn't even look me in the eyes.

A dreadful silence washed over us, and I could practically feel my heart jumping in my throat.

She just looked at her shaking hands, and said so quietly, that I almost didn't hear her, the words no man ever wants to hear.

"I think it's time to break up."

What?

Was she kidding?

My eyes nearly popped out of the sockets. She still didn't look at me, but I saw the two tears rolling down her cheeks, and I felt my heart breaking.

I didn't understand why she would break up with me. We hardly ever fought. Did I do something wrong? Just yesterday, we were completely fine. I mean, she was acting a little melancholy, but I figured since it was graduation day, that everyone would be sad that we were leaving… I never thought twice about it.

How could I be so blind?

Was she upset these past few months?  
Was I not a good enough boyfriend?

I stood up from the bed and started pacing the floor. I asked her why. Why did she want to break up?

She told me she didn't want to, and I immediately interjected and told her I didn't want to either.

She finally looked up at me with her sorrowful eyes, and she completely broke down.

I rushed over to her and poured my soul into a passionate kiss, hoping maybe, just maybe it would change her mind.

She didn't kiss me back.

It was like I was kissing a brick wall.

She reluctantly pulled away, and gently squeezed my hand. She told me she loved me, and she always would, but she insisted that she didn't want to hold me back. We were both going our separate ways, and she wanted to end things before I did.

I promised her I would never do that, but she said it was basically inevitable…

She said I was going to make it big in the NBA, and she didn't want her to hold me back.

I looked at her like she had twelve heads. She would never hold me back from anything. In fact, I don't want to live life without her. Couldn't she understand that?

I told her I didn't want to break up, and she said it would happen eventually.

Did she not have faith in us?

I did… I still do.

I believe it with all my heart.

I told her we could do long distance, but she said she didn't want to be broken up with on the phone. She thought we would eventually grow apart and be forced to break up via text message because I wouldn't have time for her.

She was breaking up with me, not because she wanted to, but because she thought I wanted to- or would want to in the future...

Like that could ever happen...

I would have laughed, but I couldn't. I was far too depressed at the thought of losing her.

I wracked my brain for anything to say in order to make her change her mind. She told me she was thinking about if for a while now, and it was just the best decision. She feared the inevitable, and so she bit the bullet and ended things. She said it would be for the better.

So far, things have only gotten worse.

How could she just, give up on us so easily?

I wanted to fight like hell to be with her.

She simply insisted that it was the "right thing to do"...

Like, what?

I begged and pleaded to the point where I was actually on my knees begging her not to do this.

She cried in my arms for what felt like an hour. We decided to take a break, and if we were really meant to be, we'd find our way back to each other.

I wasn't necessarily happy about it, but if it's what she wanted, then I guess I'd have to be okay with it. I just want her to be happy.

She wished me the best, and hoped that nothing would stand in the way of my dreams- even though she was part of my dream.

Now I just dream about her at night. I dream that she's with me, and that I'm holding her, but then I wake up, and she's not there and it sucks.

My bones ache for her. I feel them rattle with need, just to be able to touch her again.

And now, here I am, six months later, sitting alone at some random wooden table on the docks, overlooking the water, as I stare down at my phone, looking at a picture of her that I took when we were together. I couldn't bring myself to ever delete it. My index finger often hovers over the garbage can icon, but I never click it. I can't. I love that picture too much.

It's simple, but it captures Haley perfectly.

One night I surprised her with a picnic on the beach and she got so excited. I absolutely loved the smile she wore that night. Half way during the dinner, she was telling me about her dream of becoming a teacher, and I just pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of the smile on her face. I don't even think she realized I took the picture. She was just so happy, and full of life, and it instantly became my favorite picture of her. Her honey blonde curled hair was blowing slightly in the wind, her eyes lit brightly reflecting the orange glow of the sunset, and her smile beamed with jubilance.

Whenever I am sad, I just look at the photo, and I can't help but smile. It's infectious. That's one of the million reasons why I love Haley; she has a certain glow to her, and she can light up any room brighter than the sun. Cliche, I know- but it's the truth. I don't know how else to say it.

It's times like these when I wish I could go back and fix things. I know she said I didn't do anything wrong, but I just wish I could find the words to make her stay. I wish I could get her back. I'd do anything…

But I know if I saw her, and she asked me how I was doing, I'd lie and say she wasn't on my mind. I'd tell her I was fine- even though I'm not.

Why?

Because I know she wants me to be happy. I'm sure she's happy. I wouldn't want her to feel guilty. So I would say I'm fine.

"Nathan?" I hear an awfully familiar voice, pull me from my buried thoughts, and I snap my head up. I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't actually dreaming this…

"Haley?" I stuttered nervously as I felt my eyes bulging from their sockets. This couldn't be real…

Then again, I was in Tree Hill, and she does live here, I just didn't expect to see her. I was only in town for two days visiting my new friend, and agent who recently moved out here.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me with a hesitant smile, as I awkwardly stood up from my table to approach her. Should I hug her?

Damn, she looked good.

Her hair got longer, slightly lighter, and she seemed older- more mature. Has it really been six months since I had seen her last?

I fiddled nervously with them hem of my light blue t-shirt and gave her a weak grin. "Oh, I uh, I'm just visiting a friend."

I swore I could see her smile droop slightly, but she recovered quickly as she threw her arms around me in a friendly hug. This was just too weird. How could she act like we didn't have a romantic past? She was acting if we had been old acquaintances who ran into each other. My presence seemed to have no effect on her… I wish I could say the same.

She was making my heart jack hammer against my thick chest.

I am so not over her.

"How are you doing?" She asked enthusiastically, pulling away from the shirt hug, in which I wished she had never let go.

"I'm fine." I lied. I hoped it wasn't obvious I was lying. I mustered a reassuring smile, and looked into her deep brown eyes. Just six months ago there was a light that illuminated behind them, but today… that light seemed to have burned out. "How are you?" I asked, swallowing the enormous lump in the back of my throat.

"I'm good… great, actually. I, uh, just got a job at Tree Hill High School."

I smiled at her for real this time. It felt nice. For a second, it actually felt like we were together again…

If only that were true.

"That's great Hale-y.." I almost said Hales. I always called her Hales. She loved when I called her Hales. I couldn't call her that today. We aren't together. Just another painful reminder… "I'm proud of you."

She gave me her wide, toothy smile, and I felt my knees grow weak.

Nope, definitely not over her.

"Thank you." She replied, "I heard about your NBA draft, congratulations. Life seems to be going great for you."

As if.

I gave her my best fake smile, I almost faked myself into thinking I was happy. "Yeah, everything's going just fine."

"Just fine?" She pressed as her eyebrow raised slightly.

She saw right through my bull shit. She always did.

I sighed softly, "Yeah, just fine." I said vaguely.

Fine.

What does that even mean?

"Oh." Haley squeaked out.

My walls were crumbling. I could feel it. I had to put on a brave face. I couldn't let her know I was suffering. This is what she wanted, and I had to make it seem I was okay with it.

I gave her a kind smile that didn't fully reach my eyes.

She glanced around the boardwalk. "Are you expecting anyone… like um-"

"No." I said quickly. "I came here by myself. To think."

She nodded, and pointed to the empty seat across from me. "Mind if I sit?"

"Uh, no, go right ahead." I stuttered, and followed her as I sat down in the seat across from her.

A slight silence washed over us, but before I could say anything, she spoke up.

"I'm sorry about what happened between us-" She began nervously. Whenever Haley was nervous she always fiddled with her pinky ring, just like she was right now.

I looked up solemnly and gave her a sad smile. "It's fine."

There I was again… saying everything was "fine", when it was everything but that.

She let out a sarcastic laugh, "We had it good, didn't we?"

I couldn't help but agree. "Yeah. We did."

She sighed, and I could tell she was deeply in thought about something.

Her eyebrows were knit together in deep concentration. I knew her better than anyone.

"What's wrong?" I asked lightly.

Inhaling deeply, she looked up into my clear blue eyes and gave me a nervous smile. "I… Look, I don't know how to say this… but I thought I was fine with our break up, and I'm happy that you seem fine with it but-"

"I'm not." I choked out. I couldn't lie anymore. I needed to tell her. She was here, and this may be my only chance.

Haley's eyes widened when I gazed into them. I could hear the booming echo of my heart that thudded against my chest.

"Wh-what?" She asked shyly.

I gulped nervously as I felt my pride being swallowed. "I'm not over you Haley. I lied to you… I'm not fine. I'm not fine at all. I miss you so much that it hurts. I'm still in love with you-"

I watched nervously, feeling my legs shake violently, when suddenly her bright smile lit brightly across her face.

"You are?" She breathed.

I once again gulped, nodding slowly. I was so scared of what would come next.

"Well that's good because I'm not over you either. In fact, I'm still very much in love with you, Nathan Scott." She let a slow smile trace her lips, and I almost jumped out of my seat with excitement. The stuff like this only ever happened in my dreams. I can't believe she's here, and she's admitting she still loves me.

"Really?" I asked in a voice that sounded like a five year old boy who just found out he was getting a puppy…

Her smile widened, "Yes. I missed you, and I'm sorry for ending things, I was stupid-"

I shook my head in disbelief and stood up, to get closer to her, pulling her up out of the seat and leaned down to press a searing kiss upon her soft, cherry flavored lips. I felt the familiar spark ignite between us, and light a fire inside my veins. God, I missed her so much.

"I love you." I whispered against her lips after pulling away reluctantly for some much needed air.

"I never stopped loving you." I continued as I felt her lean closer to me and rest her head in my neck.

"I can't over you." She cried into my neck. "It's impossible."

I laughed quietly, letting my hands rub over her back. "I know the feeling."

"So, um, where does this leave us?" She questioned timidly.

I looked down into her glossy brown eyes, and felt myself smile. "Be mine again."

"Always." She replied, and I swear my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

I pulled her tightly into me and kissed her passionately again. "And forever." I promised.

It was official: I could not get over Haley James… and I'd never have to, because we will be together always and forever.

* * *

**The End.**

**Thanks for reading! **

PS- I'm probably done with one-shots for while (unless I get an idea), but I'm going to start updating my chapter stories because I really need to finish those... 


End file.
